What inspired you to write "The Empathetic
Elephant" and choose an elephant as your main character?
In January 2020 I attended a conference where Jen Hatmaker
-was a keynote told a story about Community…and how female elephants in the
wild circle around a mother elephant who is giving birth or injured and they
protect her or trumpet and kick dirt to protect the new baby’s skin. It is a
beautiful story that really struck a chord with me. Then Covid hit, we were all
isolated, my kids were all home. I realized how important it was being together
as a family, but how vulnerable and isolated everyone was. The female elephant
became a big reminder for me of how I wanted to live my life - with a community
of women that I could count on for support, but mostly as a reminder of the
kind of woman I wanted to be - one who realized when someone was in need ready
to encourage, support or cheer them on.
Can you share how your personal experiences have
influenced the themes of empathy and understanding in your book?
I’ve always been a pretty empathetic person. I used to think others viewed that as a weakness because people presume you are vulnerable or lack objectivity - until I became a mother. As an adult, I realized that my empathetic nature had been instilled in me by my parents and my grandparents. And did not make me weak, but compassionate and resilient. My grandfather taught me that gratitude and knowledge are our most valuable resources. My grandmother taught me to always look out for others. My mom taught me that compassion can comfort the deepest wounds. My dad taught me that sometimes faith is all we have. It was important that I passed these things on to my kids. I wanted my children to know success isn’t measured by what you have, but by the lives you touch.
How did you approach the challenge of making complex
themes like empathy and diversity accessible and engaging for young readers?
Empathy was a pretty natural progression for me because
connection and compassion are very important issues for me.
I didn’t really set out to make the book about diversity,
but it naturally unfolded as the story came together. Empathy is having the
ability to have compassion for and understand the needs of others. For Lucy to
show true empathy I knew those characters had to be truly different. It is easy
to show empathy toward people who look, think and act the same, but the
division in our world is proof that we need to have empathy for all people
regardless of ability, religion, race, socio-economic or political affiliation.
In "The Empathetic Elephant," Lucy interacts
with various animals in the jungle. How did you decide which animals to include
and what lessons each would teach?
My other books have animals that represent those stories
well. Our ties to nature and what we can learn from it are very powerful
lessons when you really think about it. Those ideas stick with me when I am
writing a story. Whether it be the power of the acorn and the oak and how there
is a generational legacy shown there or the fact that all trees are connected
by their root systems and will communicate and help each other by sending
nutrients when in need (which is referred to as the “woodwibe” web. They are
beautiful representations of family, community and connection.
In Grandpa & Lewy, Lewy is a squirrel that represents
Lewy Body dementia which is a pretty heavy topic for kids. I wanted to work the
Lewy the squirrel’s personality into the traits of Lewy Body. It seemed like a
fun way to not make the topic so frightening and provide some comic relief to
the story.
F.R.O.G is an acronym for Fully Rely on God so that didn’t
require much thought. However, as I began to develop that story I learned that
frogs are an indicator species for our planet much like I believe that faith is
an indicator of our own well being. Frogs also symbolize new beginnings,
transition, taking a leap of faith so it was very relevant to the story and to
my own life at the time. I was deciding if I was going to go all in on my
author journey. It wasn’t something I set out to do - it was honestly something
I felt called to do. Writing this book helped me come to terms with that
As I developed the characters I got this book I realized
they could easily represent different personality traits and social disorders
so I decided to write them with those things in mind. I realized quickly that
this story could be developed into a series that touches on each animal. I want
a child to be able to identify with whatever that social issue is without it
being a “label”. For example, the monkey has ADHD so the next book will focus
on those traits, but indicate that it is ADHD.
The book is not just a story, but a tool for
intergenerational bonding. How do you envision families using this book to
foster deeper connections?
Intergenerational connection is so important. I hope that it
will raise awareness of the importance of understanding, patience, and
compassion. It think it encourages open communication and active listening,
which are key to bridging the gap between different generations. The story also
highlights the value of family. Lucy’s family is there for her. Not just her
family - extended family. They don’t try to “fix the problem or solve the
issue” they listen, encourage and support her. They give Lucy the confidence
and space to solve her own problem, but they let her know how proud they are
when she does.
I hope this story will help open a dialogue for family
member's to share experiences and perspectives, fostering mutual respect and
appreciation.
Could you talk about the role of illustrations in your
book and how they complement the narrative?
I have been incredibly lucky to find and connect with 3
amazing illustrators and they’ve each played a huge role in the development of
my stories. The availability of the illustrators is really what determined what
book would be created. I found them each online and just knew that their
particular style would be perfect for my story ideas. It been so insightful to
see how different each one works and what their creative vision brings to the
table.
The illustrator for my first book, “Grandpa & Lewy”
(Tracey Arvidson) had to deal with me not having any idea what was involved in
publishing a book. I had zero knowledge and very little budget. She was so
patient and kind. It was at the height of covid so we were both dealing with a
house full of older kids and trying to navigate everything that came with that.
We went with very simple watercolor illustrations and found creative ways to
keep budget down and make the illustrations complement the story. I have some
future books that I hope to be able to use her for. Her style reminds me of
Norman Rockwell paintings and it lends itself well to the nostalgic realism of
some of my stories.
My second and third books were really dictated by the
availability of the illustrators. I found both Jess Bircham and Lauren Sparks
at the same time. They were very different styles and fit well with a few
stories I had in the vault. Both illustrators were working on a 6-12 month
waitlist. I put my name on the list and Jessica was ready for me about three
months ahead of the 6 month mark. Her style was very soft and sweet reminded me
a lot of Precious Moments figurines.
I had an idea for the F.R.O.G. Book and knew that story
would lend itself well to her style. So I wrote F.R.O.G. Pretty quickly and
Jess got it done at lightning speed in March. In June of the same year I heard
back from Lauren. I knew her book would be my elephant story. I was also a
story that I had in the vault and was motivated to finish after I saw her work.
It was fun and bold and jungle animals are her specialty. The coolest thing is
that she lives in South Africa and was doing my illustrations while on safari.
She would send me videos of a rhino walking past her tent. Talk about field
research. It was so surreal having my illustration come from such an amazing
experience.
I’m always keeping my eye out for new illustrators because
finding the right illustrator for a story idea really inspires me - but it
would be hard to beat the relationship and connection I have with each of these
women. I feel privileged to have worked with them and would work with them
again on any project at anytime.
I can honestly say that I don’t sit down to write a book.
The stories find me. Some come from life experiences and others are inspired by
these amazingly talented artists. I’ve surrendered to not trying to figure it
all out.
"The Empathetic Elephant" is your third
children’s book. How does this book differ from your previous works like
"Grandpa & Lewy" and "F.R.O.G. - Fully Rely On God"?
It is the most broad. My first two books were very niche’. I
would consider Grandpa & Lewy more of a resource. I wrote that story for my
kids because my dad was diagnosed with LBD in 2003 and there weren’t any
resources available for families - especially for young kids. F.R.O.G. is also
very niche’ bc of the religious theme.
I do feel like both books have a broad message of
acceptance, compassion and connection - whether it be connection to faith, self
or others. It has been a challenge because the stories are both pretty
specific.
I am so excited for The Empathetic Elephant because it keeps
with my theme of acceptance, compassion and connection, but will reach a
broader audience.
What message do you hope children and their parents take
away from "The Empathetic Elephant"?
“Our connection is our strength” though we are not all the
same, we are all connected. It is ok if we don’t think, look or act the same,
but kindness foster unity. We not only need to embrace our own differences, but
we need to approach others’ differences from a place of compassion and
acceptance.
How do you think your book contributes to conversations
about emotional intelligence and understanding in children's development?
I’m my opinion there is a huge need for these conversations.
I think the book introduces these concepts in a child-friendly manner, using
relatable characters and engaging narratives. I think it could be a great tool
for parents to help children understand their emotions, empathize with others,
and manage their responses effectively, By doing so, parents could lay a strong
foundation for their emotional and social development, equipping them with the
skills they need to navigate relationships and challenges throughout their
lives. Ideally, I can’t wait to dive even deeper and expand this series to
tackle mental health issues like neurodiversity, depression, social anxiety,
body dysmorphia and autoimmune disorders.
Are there any plans for more books in the future that
follow similar themes of empathy and understanding? What can your readers look
forward to next?
YES!! I have so many story ideas to bring to life. I get
excited to get them out into the world. Mostly bc I love the creative process,
but truly want to make a difference or bc I truly hope that they will make a
difference in a child’s life, a parent’s view of the world or a family’s
dynamic.
I wish I could just create and keep moving forward, but each
book needs some special attention and that has been a challenge for me. So I am
learning to space them out a bit so that my resources are a bit more
manageable.
I have the illustrator on the books for a follow up to
F.R.O.G in early 2024.
One of my young readers pointed out the need for a “boy
book” 😊
This will also be a religious theme that compliments
F.R.O.G., but this one is for boys.
I’m very excited that the illustrator for Empathetic
Elephant (Lauren Sparks) is onboard with continuing the series of jungle
adventures that address each animal from the first book and what makes each one
different, but special.
How does "The Empathetic Elephant" reflect your
passion for fostering intergenerational connections through storytelling?
Empathetic elephant is the culmination a message that has
been in the making for many years. It is really a full circle moment for me.
Without rehashing my whole life story. My love of writing began in 1987 with a
high school English assignment to interview and write a paper about my
grandfather. Ten years later I used that same paper as the foundation for a
college graduation requirement. I researched and wrote about intergenerational
bonding and titled it “Communication – The Vital Link”. That interview with my
grandfather in 1987 had a profound impact on me. I didn’t realize the power of
my writing then or the strength of the connection with my grandparents, but it
proved to be a huge catalyst for what I do today.
Can you describe your journey as a children's book author
and how it led to the creation of "The Empathetic Elephant"?
I didn’t set out to be an author and until my 3rd book, I
couldn’t even bring myself to use that title. I didn’t talk much about my
writing. I remember reading bedtime stories to my kids thinking how cool it
would be to write children's books because I loved reading them, but it was
never something I ever thought I would do. I believed ,and still do, with
everything in my being that motherhood was my purpose in life. It was all I
wanted. I didn’t need anything else. I know that will rub some people the wrong
way, but it is my truth. Being a stay at home mom was a privilege, but it
required many sacrifices for our family. I wouldn’t change a thing, but I am
grateful that I’ve found something that I love to do now that my kids are
grown. Being there mom is still my favorite thing ever, but creating children's
books brings me a sense of joy and fulfillment now that the house is a little
more quiet.
In what ways does "The Empathetic Elephant" aim
to strengthen family bonds and cultural heritage?
Seeing Lucy’s interaction with her herd (extended family)
will empower kids to discuss issues with family and hopefully encourage
families to communicate in a healthy, helpful manner.
How do you believe your personal experiences as a parent in
Pennsylvania have influenced the themes in your children’s books? I’ve had the
privilege of raising some pretty amazing kids. I must admit they made it easy
for me, but I do believe that was because faith and family mattered most. Life
has not been easy, but we’ve always faced hard things and heartaches together.
"The Empathetic Elephant" is about
understanding and inclusivity. Why are these themes important for young readers
today?
Inclusivity is especially crucial for young readers today
because it helps them understand and appreciate the diversity of the world
around them. It fosters empathy, respect, and acceptance of others, regardless
of their race, religion, gender, or abilities. Thanks to technology we are more
connected than ever, but we are also more isolated. A child can go on social
media and know what’s going on around the world, but they are less likely to go
outside and see what’s happening in their neighborhood. This view of the world
through the lens of social media agendas and narratives can be dangerous for a
child and their mental health. Inclusive literature that opens the door for
important conversations is more important than ever. It allows children from
all backgrounds to see themselves represented, affirming their identities and
experiences. This not only boosts their self-esteem and sense of belonging, but
also promotes social harmony and equality
Lucy the elephant encounters various animals along her
journey. How do these interactions convey the message of empathy and diversity?
Each animal rejects Lucy’s attempts at friendship. This
rejection is not about
Lucy, but because each animal
Is dealing with their own issue. It would have been easy for
Lucy to give up at the risk of creating her own issues. With the encouragement
of her family, Lucy realizes that she had the power to make a difference. With
a growth mindset and an attitude of compassion Lucy breaks down the barriers
and meets each animal where they’re at. Teaching us that we truly are better
together.
What do you hope families will take away from reading
"The Empathetic Elephant" together?
I hope that it will raise awareness of the need for connection
and conversation.
How do you approach the challenge of writing for a young
audience while also engaging adult readers?
My desire is to write stories that make a difference. My two
favorite genres are self/help and children’s books. ☺
So I’m in awe of authors like Dr.Suess and
Charlie Mackesy who can package a profound message in a beautiful picture book.
That’s would be my ultimate dream. For now, I’d like to think my stories speak to all ages because they
tackle tough topics that are relevant today.
That’s my focus.