My name is Tara. I am almost 38 years old. I just moved to England, and I am alone, scared, and hurt. My body is broken, and my heart is closed for romantic love. In my free time, I take care of an old man who needs help. He makes me feel… useful.
Then I meet Adrian. He is a 25-year-old English boy. I am so much older than him. He is courting me… but he is in a relationship. What does he want from me? Romance? I am no good for him, he is not good for me.
What would the society say? Is this even allowed?
We fight and we make love. I hate to love him. I curse and swear I will never do it again. I am one of the women who love too much. What am I going to do?
“I want to cook for you, Adrian. I want you to come home to me every evening. I want to walk with you on the street holding hands. I want to fall asleep in your arms. I want you to be the first thing I see in the morning and I want to make love to you like we did now. I am dying without you.”
“You said you didn't want a relationship. You want to keep it a secret. You are ashamed of me.”
“I said so many things, but never that I am ashamed. Why would I be ashamed?”
“I always knew I couldn't have you. You're out of my league, you're out of anyone's league.”
“What are you talking about? What do you mean? You cannot possibly think that. Can't you feel that I am crazy about you?”
“Yes, I know you are crazy about me, but your mind doesn't want to accept it. I am not good enough for you. You deserve someone better.”
“I only want you,” I said with tears in my eyes.
“You want me only when we are alone. In public, I mean nothing to you. You don't even see me.”
“You're the only one I see. There is no one else in this world for me. I now know that you'll always be in my heart. No matter where I'll be.”