Playing to Lose looks like an interesting personal
journey. What type of readers would be
interested in your book?
The audience for “Playing To Lose”
would be anyone who wants an inside look at this insidious and progressive
disease and the stranglehold it has over those addicted. It’s a biography, a human-interest
story, a battle between good and evil, a love story and it’s about perseverance
and hope. If anyone is considering reading a book about recreational, problem,
compulsive or pathological gambling, this books for you. Playing To Lose takes
the reader on an epic journey of ups and downs spanning my 35-year addiction to
the bet. I would recommend this book to anyone who is addicted, knows someone
who is, or would just like to know more about this illness.
Can you tell us a little about the book?
This is not a story about hedonism, adventure, and the
inevitable collapse of my gambling escapades. In the book, I dive into the very
start of my addiction and how it manifested over a lifetime, I try to find some
insight into why it was so hard to push back against the poison that made me
feel so good. As I begin my recovery treatment, I discuss what’s working, not
working, and why recovery is so difficult to achieve, in real-time. Gambler’s
Anonymous and therapy have unearthed some of the emotions, memories, and
perspectives that led to my addiction that I now need to purge and confront as
they arise.
My addiction became unmanageable and I didn’t know why or
how to stop, and I felt conflicted about my behavior every day. I struggled
with my addiction as a Christian and how it went against everything, I believed
in. I felt lost, empty, and alone with the looming fear of the mounting debt
and how it would affect my loved ones as a result of my decisions. A prison of
isolation was built from my shame as I attempted to keep my feelings to myself
and figure it out “on my own”, only to find redemption from the loneliness when
I found others occupying the same prison.
Sharing my story is one of the many ways I’m not only
attempting to help others fight alienation but to find clarity and answers to
my own questions.
What will readers come away with after reading it?
I would like readers to recognize that addicts are not bad
people trying to be good, we are actually sick people trying to be well. I want
them to see how isolating addiction can be from an addict’s point of view, and
why it’s so difficult for us to stop. My hope for the reader is exactly that,
HOPE. I hope they will walk away with a deeper appreciation for the challenges
we face and the shame we carry resulting from what the addiction does to us. If
I did my job when telling my story, they will walk away with and understanding
that addiction is isolating, but recovery, when surrounded by loved ones doesn’t
have to be. Lastly, I believe the reader will recognize how important a higher
power is to the recovering addict.
What inspired you when writing Playing to Lose?
In 2014 I attended my first session with a therapist, signed
out of my first casino and started going to Celebrate Recovery meetings. It was
in those days that I was asked to start journaling my activities, thoughts and feelings.
Unfortunately, over the next five years, I went off the deep end only a few
months into my early attempts at recovery and walked away from the help I so
desperately longed for. In late 2019 my world was collapsing, I was being sued
every few weeks, my home was in pre-foreclosure, the car was up for repossession
and I was broken spiritually. One evening, during this period of deep
depression and devastation, I started reading my old notes to my wife. She made
a loose comment that I had amassed enough notes and stories to write a book, to
which I agreed. Since I was now back in treatment and making headway, I decided
that no matter what happened to me moving forward, I was going to tell my story
because the world needs to know how devastating gambling addiction can be. Writing
was incredibly therapeutic to me throughout my recovery journey.
When writing Playing to Lose did anything stand
out as particularly challenging?
The biggest challenges I experienced when writing this book
was being honest with myself when trying to articulate the feelings and
emotions I had in the midst of my addiction and recovery. I found them
increasingly difficult to write. Talking about things like my struggles with suicidal
ideation, faith, being honest with myself, and facing my shame were the hardest.
It was hard for me to write while in early recovery since I was learning new
things about myself every week.
What do you like to do when not writing?
All the traditional things families do, like spend time with
loved ones, going to the movies, watching and playing sports. Outside of family
related activities, I enjoy studying WW2 history, Egyptology, Early Church
History and the American Revolution. When time permits, I love to play trivia
games and puzzles.
Where can readers find out more about your work?
They can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Email or on my
website. And of course, they can always find my book or E-book on Amazon.com
Facebook Six_4_Sixty
Instagram @Six_4_Sixty
Amazon.com PLAYING TO LOSE: THE TRUE STORY OF A CHRISTIAN
GAMBLER